Or, If It’s Really Possible

Hollywood has often turned humans into gods and gods into humans; a tiny pill transforms Bradley Cooper into a remarkable man, whilst Scarlett Johansson similarly turns the human-like “Lucy” into a being seven times superior, a divine creation—films that have become as much a part of our daily routine as eating and drinking; Hariri and Kaku constantly paint a picture of a future structured in a certain direction before our eyes by speaking of “human gods”, whilst we all talk more about a virtual reality than about the here and now, and in these days when quantum science and nonsense are intermingling at a quantum level, blend together like tahini and molasses (and it actually goes rather well, doesn’t it), these days, if you ask anyone from 7 to 70, you’ll get the answer in an instant: that the human brain—and therefore human potential—is limitless, and all that’s required is to believe in it wholeheartedly.

‘If I want to, but really want to, I’ll definitely do it…’ Now stop for a moment and try to remember how many times you’ve heard this phrase throughout your life; you’ve probably used it at least as often. To be honest, I’ve caught myself using it time and time again. Then I found myself asking, in a voice no one else could hear: “Well, who’s stopping you? What’s getting in the way of your desire?” Just as Nasrettin Hoca once said, “We knew you when you were young too”…

We go on singing to ourselves this little ‘if I want to…’ tune, but to be honest, we don’t really question this strange ‘lack of desire’ of ours. The human brain’s greatest skill is to always come to our rescue to make us happy—or, more accurately, to save us from unhappiness—and we rationalise the attitudes and behaviours we display when faced with what we call difficulties or obstacles. I’m avoiding it, it’s a struggle for me, I don’t know where to start, I don’t trust myself, I’m afraid of failing, I’m afraid of achieving a success I think I won’t be able to sustain, I can’t see that strength within myself, I’m worried about what others might think of me’ – all these feelings are expressed in a phrase that begins with ‘Well, if I really wanted to…’ and quickly drifts far from any semblance of reality.

Please don’t get me wrong; thank goodness, I have no problem whatsoever with believing or wanting. On the contrary, I accept with all my heart and mind that believing and wanting provide the energy, determination and resolve needed to walk the path towards realising any task or dream. I know that belief and desire lead to selective perception, and that by sifting through the information and signs pouring in from my surroundings and bringing those relevant to my goal to my attention, they support me in moving towards my objective; and I even try to explain the physiology behind this in my training sessions as best I can. My intention with this piece is not to trivialise these concepts. What I hope to emphasise carefully and persistently is this: whilst we appear to believe so utterly, almost blindly, in the boundlessness of the human mind and potential, how is it that the people we see in the mirror every day can remain just as ordinary as the other people with whom we share our lives in one way or another?!

It strikes me that the real issue is that every cell in our body contradicts the very sentence we claim to believe with our lips. Because our experience does not align with this, and therefore does not support our words. No matter what we say on the surface, the stories our inner voices tell us are completely different…

For decades, the field of positive psychology has demonstrated and emphasised that using positive language and positive visualisation is extremely important when dealing with strong negative emotions. However, just as a circuit must be complete for an electric current to flow, so too must thought be supported by experience for genuine belief to form. Visualisation (envisioning a situation or a future moment in as much detail as possible, utilising the mental projections of our senses) is an important and effective method for creating experiences, but it is clear that this alone is not sufficient. The body-brain relationship—or mind-body relationship, whatever you choose to call it—is a cyclical structure based on feedback. As most of us are familiar with from computer jargon, for it to function correctly, it must not produce a ‘syntax error’. For example, you may believe with all your heart that a person can defy gravity, but this belief alone is not enough to enable you to defy gravity. This is because when your belief is not supported by your experience, the system throws a ‘syntax error’. Merely accepting that something might be possible (believing in it in principle) is insufficient to make it a reality for us. Human nature seeks to find evidence in one’s own physical and mental experiences that the belief in question could apply to oneself. To take another example, if you have never run more than 100 metres in your life, it will not be easy to convince your mind that one day you could run 40 km. On the other hand, if you started with 100 metres last year and are now able to run 5 km, your mind will not overlook this progress and will develop an evidence-based belief that you could one day run 40 km. This belief will likely enable you to run 40 km within two years.

So, when we talk about ‘believing’, what are we actually talking about? Is it believing that something is possible, or believing that it is possible for us? I can almost hear some of you saying, ‘What sort of question is that?’, but I think it’s a good one. The first—believing that something is possible in principle—indicates a passive stance, whilst the second is based on an active process. From the moment we accept that something is possible for us, we can embark on an active effort to make it happen. From this point onwards, daydreams begin to transform into visions, analyses, plans and concrete steps. All those images, which had been floating two-dimensionally before our eyes like miniature models, begin to take on perspective, and the path towards realising what is possible gradually becomes clearer. We now have a roadmap, a rough sketch, that we can take in our hands and reflect upon. As you have all heard and read countless times, the human brain favours the concrete and becomes productive to the extent that it can make the abstract concrete. It must somehow transform the clouds of gas and dust in its mind into rain or snow—that is, turn ideas into action and produce an outcome. Believing that anything is possible for us is the first and most important step towards making it a reality.

Returning to the question of how we can believe that anything is possible for us, there is no magic formula or ‘so-and-so’s X steps’ shortcut that I am aware of. The most effective method I know is the time-honoured approach: bit by bit, through trial and error, becoming aware of our strengths, weaknesses, skills, skill gaps, behaviours, attitudes, values, who we are, and who we want to be. Just as weights are gradually increased in muscle-building exercises, we too grow when we try to approach situations in a way that gently challenges our perspectives, mental attitudes and skills each time. To the extent that we can step outside our comfort zones, we can progress towards realising our potential. Stepping away from one’s comfort zone, however, is by its very nature something people would naturally prefer to avoid (the emotional brain finds it easier to manage threats in familiar environments and therefore does not relish change). Therefore, it is not to be expected that a person would, by their very nature—and I say this in inverted commas—feel any desire to engage in any process that challenges them. You know that phrase that begins, ‘If I really wanted to…’? Well, that very phrase actually reveals that we are standing on the edge of our comfort zones and shows whether or not we are ready to step outside them. It is, in a way, an expression of the very anxiety we feel regarding our ability to protect ourselves against the dangers and threats we might encounter when we step outside our comfort zones.

Returning to the beginning of my piece, it strikes me that, contrary to what might appear at first glance, the real problem is not our belief, but quite the opposite: our lack of belief (not believing that it is possible for us). Whilst we all adopt a passive ‘it might just happen’ attitude, we are shying away from the active act of belief that truly makes the impossible possible. Because the latter requires courage, humility, hard work, diligence, taking responsibility, standing firm, progressing step by step, learning from experience – in short, stepping out of our comfort zone and remaining on the path for a lifetime. I have no criticism for those who choose the first path; I respect them. My question, however, is for those who carry the second path in their hearts: ‘What if human potential really is limitless? What if it really is possible?’

Sanem Ömürlü